Category Archives: Computer Fun

Facts about Richard Stallman

Here are some fun facts about Richard Stallman:
Generated with the fact command in octave.

  1. When Richard Stallman runs /bin/false, it returns “true”.
  2. If Richard Stallman has 1GB of RAM, and if you have 1GB of RAM, Richard Stallman has more RAM than you.
  3. Richard Stallman won a Sudoku that started with only one number in each line.
  4. Richard Stallman first words were actually syscalls.
  5. Whenever Richard Stallman looks at a Windows computer, it segfaults. Whenever Richard Stallman doesn’t look at a Windows computer, it segfaults.
  6. Richard Stallman once went out of scope for a while. The garbage collector never dared to touch him.
  7. Richard Stallman can solve the halting problem… in polynomial time.
  8. For Richard Stallman, polynomial time is O(1).
  9. When Richard Stallman gets angry he doesn’t swear; he recurses.
  10. Richard Stallman does not actually write programs. He comes up with a length and digit index in pi. More info
  11. Richard Stallman can fill up /dev/null.
  12. Richard Stallman’s DNA is in binary.
  13. Richard Stallman is so zealous about privacy he has /dev/null as his home.
  14. When Richard Stallman’s computer gets a virus, he simply applies a GPL license to it which converts the whole botnet to Linux. I mean, GNU/Linux.
  15. Richard Stallman’s doctor can retrieve a blood sample via CVS.
  16. Richard Stallman programmed Chuck Norris.
  17. Behind Richard Stallman’s beard there is another fist, to code faster.
  18. Richard Stallman’s first words were in binary. When they couldn’t understand him, he wrote a parser.
  19. Richard Stallman doesn’t evaluate expressions; expressions evaluate to Richard Stallman.
  20. Richard Stallman’s brain compiles and runs C code.
  21. Richard Stallman user GNU tar to compress air.
  22. Richard Stallman has a URL tatooed on the left side of his chest where you can download his genetic code.
  23. Richard Stallman never showers; he runs ‘make clean’.
  24. Richard Stallman gets 9 bits to the byte.
  25. Richard Stallman can release LLVM and clang under the GPL.
  26. When Richard Stallman counted his fingers as a kid, he always started with 0.
  27. Richard Stallman wasn’t born. He was compiled from source.
  28. Richard Stallman’s uptime is over 53 years. And counting up.
  29. Richard Stallman wrote a program to compute the last digit of pi.
  30. Richard Stallman can parse HTML with regular expressions.
  31. Richard Stallman wrote a program so powerful it knows the question to 42.
  32. Richard Stallman can touch this.
  33. Richard Stallman wrote a program that divides by zero.
  34. Richard Stallman was coded by himself in lisp with Emacs.
  35. Richard Stallman can telnet into Mordor.
  36. When Richard Stallman uses floats, there are no rounding errors.
  37. “They can take our lives, but they can never take our freedom.” — William Wallace after a little talk with Richard Stallman.
  38. Richard Stallman is the answer to the Turing Test.

Richard Stallman, upon reading these facts, didn’t laugh at all. Instead, he
complained that he is being linked to that dirty “open source” software. He
also asked it to be changed to “free software”, in order to raise awareness for
software freedom in our society.